Toddler tantrums

So what do you do when the sweet blond hair, blue-eyed boy starts the most expressive tantrums imaginable?  

They call it the terrible twos. . .

But there is nothing terrible about this sweet boy.  This too shall pass.  (And when it does, like every other development, I will probably miss this too).

This is 'normal'.  Whatever normal is.  The truth is I have hit a motherhood benchmark and should be glad.  My son is showing signs of individualism.  It is now more important than ever to help guide him, with of course some established boundaries.  Is this always easy?  Heck, no!  But who said parenting is easy!  I love my son though, and more than willing to take the harder route for his sake.  

So while on our journey and from tips found along the way this is what I can share: 

1. Pick your battles.  Yep.  Easier said then done.  Be aware of the tendency to control rather than encourage cooperation.  Instead of focusing so much on the negative ("don't do that"), try to focus on what you do want.  Encourage that behavior. 
2. Be calm and consistent.  Being embarrassed, frustrated or angered can throw us off our game, but children don't respond well to someone who is scary or forceful. We are no different. . .think back to the best bosses you've ever had.  Attract more with honey. . .We are modeling self-control.
3. If you find yourself getting frustrated often- rethink punishment.  Is it really control you want or is it growth and responsibility?  We have started using time-outs, and have had success, but we use it in conjunction with communication.  The time out gives us time to breath, and allows us to communicate about the behavior as well as express our unconditional love to our son.  
4. Remember life is not black and white, there is a lot of Gray.  Why do we try to teach our toddlers otherwise?  Instead of setting up rigid rules, life should be evaluated on a case of case basis (this of course take judgement when toddlers are very much in the monkey see monkey do stage).
5. Distraction.  This is like magic and calm so many situations.  Then demonstrate the behavior you do want.

Most importantly breathe. . . 

I would love to hear any feedback, comments, words of wisdom from our group!